Life's Essentials

 

Whether a thought, a bad habit, a painful relationship or situation; ‘if it doesn’t nourish your soul – let it go.’ As part of September’s self-care, it’s important we take time to Spring clean our lives. For those of you in the Northern hemisphere, as the Autumn leaves begin to turn, you too, can turn over a new leaf.

Begin by asking a few simple questions; What am I lacking? What do I have ‘too much’ of? In what areas of my life do I feel an imbalance? Once we address our needs and the needs of those we love; we can begin to cultivate more peace, love, balance and joy in our lives.

I find it’s best to approach one aspect of our lives at a time. Whenever I’ve tried to overhaul my entire life in one go, I’ve become overwhelmed and created new imbalances as a result. A great place to start is through the process of letting go.

The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.

– Lin Yutang

Maybe you bring your work home with you? Or have a tendency to gossip too much? Do you drink or eat in excess when stressed? If it’s old, worn out beliefs, thought patterns and behaviours, or an accumulation of ‘things’ and relationships that no longer nourish your soul; as you say goodbye to the old and make space for the new, trust that in letting go, you can cultivate a loving, compassionate environment for all involved.

In love & light,

Hayley xx

 

 


5 Simple Steps Towards Letting Go


I have been experiencing a lot of change in my life recently. My partner and I of six years have decided to go our separate ways. Letting go is never easy, but I have managed to reach a place of acceptance and peace, despite my world being so uncertain right now.

We can never quite be sure why things don’t always work out as ‘planned’. We may have our hunches as to why we lost that ‘one special person’; or missed out on the ‘perfect job opportunity’; or why we didn’t receive the recognition we were hoping for. We may spend days, weeks, months even, dwelling and deliberating over all of life’s perceived ‘failures’ as we convince ourselves: “If only I were ‘slimmer’, ‘smarter’, ‘worthier’ or ‘different’.”

The truth is, we can never fully comprehend the greater plan. Divine timing is at work in each of our lives and we must trust that everything is in Divine order.

So I thought I would share these ‘5 Simple Steps Towards Letting Go’ that have served me. It is my hope that they will help you in some way.

Accept Things As They Are

When we choose acceptance over resistance, we take back our power. That is why acceptance is the first step towards letting go. There is a peaceful awareness that falls over us when we let go of the struggle and accept things as they are.  Acceptance paves the way for peace – peace within ourselves; peace towards others and peace with our current circumstances. It is from this place of peace that healing begins.

However difficult it may be to come to terms with things, try to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. What are the benefits of holding on to the person or situation in question? What freedom can be found in letting go and accepting things as they are?

Find The Blessings

With any kind of loss there are usually personal growth lessons involved, especially when experiencing bereavement through the loss of a loved one. When my Dad passed away, as terribly painful as that was for me, there were many blessings that I received. Over time, I began to appreciate life more and the people in it. I learnt how to show more love and to be more courageous in life. I am blessed to still have a relationship with my Dad, it is just a different kind of relationship that exists in the non-physical.

If you are experiencing the loss of a job or a relationship, questions to reflect upon are: Were we compatible? Had the situation turned toxic? Did this environment bring out the best or the worst in me? Was I nurtured or appreciated enough in my career or relationship? Once we recognise what wasn’t working, we can shift our attention to what we wish to receive more of moving forward. Recognition? Respect? Equality? Love? Appreciation? Kindness? There are many hidden blessings that come with loss, one of them being clarity. Bless the past with love for the teachings and lessons it brought.

Forgive

Learning to forgive allows for growth and expansion. It is often in our darkest moments that we discover our light; our inner strength and commitment to oneself. Whether that commitment is to heal; to learn; to accept; or to be kinder to ourselves as well as others, change commands for us to dig deep and seek the light of Truth. To shift our perspective from one of anger, pain and blame, to one of peaceful acceptance and awareness.

In order to forgive we must be willing to look beyond our grievances. People don’t usually set out to intentionally hurt us. When we look passed the character flaws of another and discover the perfect soul within, we become less emotionally attached to the pain that was caused. Our aim is to reach a stage where we can say to one another: ‘The soul in me sees the soul in you.’ – regardless of how much hurt and suffering has been caused. That is how we forgive – that is how we love; ourselves as well as others. Forgive yourself and others and make peace with your past.

Let Your Friends Help You

Whatever difficulties you are facing in your life, be kind to yourself. Be honest with yourself and others. What do you need right now? Quiet space? Welcome distraction? Time to heal? Support and assistance? We sometimes feel that we are alone or don’t wish to burden others with our troubles. But you will be surprised by how many people are willing to help when you reach out.

For a long time I was ashamed of how things were going in my relationship, and I kept my feelings to myself. But when I finally found my voice and shared what was going on, I discovered that I had a much bigger support network than I realised. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to let your friends help you.

Have Faith and Trust in the Process of Life

Even in our darkest of moments we must have faith that everything is working out for our highest good. As painful as it is to let go, when we surrender our past we pave the way for an even brighter future. As one door closes, another one opens. Be present and trust in the process of life.

The quickest way to freedom is to face fear head on; to embrace it and invite it in. Find the courage within you to seek what is waiting for you on the other side. And keep the faith. For ‘we must be willing let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.’ – Joseph Campbell.

I hope you have found something here that has eased the pain of letting go and helped in some way. What tips do you have to come to terms with loss? I’d love to hear your comments below.

In love & light,

Hayley xx